As much as I have loved being “KnittingFisher”, its just not who I am anymore.  In honour of re-defining myself, I have started a new blog.  It is called SisuGirl and is at sisugirl.wordpress.com and I hope that you will join me over there.  There will be just as many adventures and knitting and spinning too but just under a name that I can keep for a very long time, no matter what relationship, job or lifestyle that I lead.  For a definition of ’sisu’, head on over there and read more!

SisuGirl

Happy Friday Everyone!

I know that it has been quite some time between my last post and now but there also has been a lot going on too.  Both physically and in my head.

Head and heart-wise, well, I am still getting that all figured out.  It always seems that I am living “Plan B” so I guess that I shouldnt be so surprised that the rug is gone again from under me and I have to create a new Plan B but I didnt think that I would have to be creating a whole new plan for my life in it.  In the past, I have never planned as far in advance as I had this time.  I mean, I really did have the rest of my life roughly sketched out, centering on J and our life together in Pelican.  Now that that is gone, I really have to start over from nothing and I really have no clue what I want to do, go or be…so pray for me.  I have no ideas but just like they teach you in AA, “one day at a time” and from this too I will recover.

Sisu is my source of joy and gets me out of bed in the mornings and makes me happy tocome home each night so I am greatful to have her by my side, though she seemed to know that I was upset and started to snuggle closer in bed and has taken over the opposite side now, including pillow space.  Spoilt little dog.  She is getting regular walkies around the park and we have both made some good friends there.  Its a good place for both of us.  You may know how Mums at a park relate to each other by their kid stories; thats what we dog parents do at the dog park.  And we all know the different dogs but have a hard time with each others name!  “Oh look!  Its Sisu and her Mum!”  Yeah.  Well, we say that its socialisation for the dogs but we all know and agree that its socialisation for us as people too.  If you think about it, we very rarely have a chance to meet and talk with other people outside of a work or friends environment.  At the dog park, most people dont know each other very well or have a history.  We can be who we really are without fear of A)seeing the person again in a formal setting or B)having to talk to anyone that you dont really want to.  Granted, you always have those people at the dog or people park who like to give you all the advice in the world about raising your dog, but just like when they give advice about raising kids, you smile, nod and then talk about the smarty-boots over there who just had the gall to tell you how to raise your *fur*baby with your nearest walkies friend.

I know some of you *coughJanynecough* want pictures but I havent yet been able to take and upload any without looking at all the old ones that J and I took together and of each other without crying and getting really sad so new pictures will have to wait for a bit.  I know that its OK to cry and it is because of all those experiences together that I am the person that I am now, but its still difficult.  One day soon I will sit down with a friend and tell them the stories and cry and then move and save all the pictures to a file that is separate from the main iPhoto…soon, I promise.

Work has been hectic with all the fun of the start of school and excitement of check in.  I had my first experiance with a keg on campus.  Lucky for us and them that it was before any of it was consumed   but it will be interesting to see what the sanctions are for the people involved.  Lucky for me it wasnt my resident and will not be my case to handle.  Please, no one in East or Templewood get any ideas like that!!!  I love my staff members and I am very happy with what they are programming and planning for their own residents as well as I am greatful that I have each and every one of them as my own staff members.

Enjoy your Friday everyone.  Have a pint for me to celebrate the weekend

My family got to figure out 3-way calling last night with me after I had a long talk with J.  I’m sure you will understand the ‘Goodbye’ part of my title as you get to the end but I really hope you read the entire post and think about those special people who have come into your life and made an impact.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend and they are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without   any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.


Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or whether you are a lifetime.

Thank you for my season with you Jamison.  While I wish it would have been for our lifetime, I lived that season with you just as our ring said “with no regrets”.  Be happy with the path that you chose and know that I will always have a special place in my heart for you.  God be with you.

Life, to me, is all about those little and not so little habits that we have created for ourselves.  They are the things that we do without having to think about it and they mean so much to us and our lives.  Since I have moved and started a new job, I have had to create and get working on some new habits.  Some are ones that I have had for years and want to continue, others are ones that are getting broken and then rebuilt.

#1?  A Sisu habit.  In Pelican, my job was fluid enough that I could be home at many different hours of the day and I was generally only gone for 4 at a time.  We could go for walks/runs and play on the tide flats pretty much whenever we wanted to (depending, of course on the tide!) Now?  Work is 4 hours, lunch break and then 4 more.  I can and have been gone for 9 hours at a stretch and that is a long time for us.  She has no potty issues for a day of being gone and has lots of toys but it still isnt the same for either of us.  I have been making it up in the evenings and on the weekends.  I have mentioned that there is a dog park across the street and she loves to romp and play there.  We go every evening just as soon as I can change my shoes and grab the treats Did I hear you say ‘Treat’?

What I REALLY want and need for her is also getting into a morning walk/run routine.  I am definetly more of a morning person but havent gotten a shift down yet because last week was the first of my new job But now, going into my second, I am more than ready for my own morning run!

#2 Blogging more regularly.  As  you can tell, there has been quite a bit of time between blog posts and honestly, I hate that.  I really want to be faithful to you, my readers, and post more often so I am going to reserve that time in the mornings after my shower and with my tea to update you all.

#3 Knitting.  What? You didnt think that I could leave off the knitting, did you?  I have more than enough on my needles at this very moment to keep me happy for quite a while.  Don’t believe me?  Well, and

and

and

and

*Ahem* Yes, well, thats all.  And, If I’m being honest, I have the yarn for another yoke sweater too.  Eco Wool and this beautiful handpaint from a local Alaskan artist.

Speaking of handpainting, I need to get back into dyeing but I think that its going to have a wait just a bit longer as I have so much work to do and that HAS to be ready for student staff training.  As soon as the school year begins I will have more time to dye but, for anyone who is waiting for more to come into stock, I’m really sorry but it will be at least another 2 weeks.  I’m trying, really, to get it all under control but this job change was a wrench in a very important system that I am trying to get back.

I blame my mother on my need to have a system!  I thank her too so it all evens out!

I shall leave you with moose calves…they were out my window the other morning and Sisu alerted me at 6:30am that something was amiss.  I got to see them thanks to her.  She also went back to bed shortly after seeing them and realising that they were OK and supposed to be there!

I felt that I needed to make a short post telling everyone that I am still here in Pelican and still absolutely crazy busy some days.  I have moved into an apartment (Brightonwomans apartment actually, to house-sit while she and her family are travelling down south) for the next month or so and then I will be Anchorage bound!

I’ve been packing and re-packing some of my things and realise that there are more “Things” that I was going to pack than what I really need.  Despite when I initially thought, I dont need to pack all of my yarn, just a few skeins for socks and the yarn for my Vail.  That will be my big sweater for the year and some thing great to come back to Pelican with.  10 months should be long enough to knit a sweater for an adult woman on US 2’s, right?  Considering 80% is boring stockingette, I am sure that it is but its the 20% of stranding for the yoke and tops of the sleeves that has me worried.

I have to buy some new dress clothes for work and while I will pack a few of my t-shirts, I am sure that I dont need them all or even most so that paring will be a good thing.  I think that I have it down to taking 2 large totes (1 for me, 1 for Sisu’s bed and toys) and 1 small one (yarn and knitterly objects) thru the mail and then 1 suitcase with me on the plane along with Sisu herself.  I know better than to pack everything or to ship everything because then the most important box always gets lost.  Best to have just enough to get by for a few days of everything packed with you.   Since J will be fishing, my most important thing is Sisu and since I dont plan on losing her either getting on or off the plane, the flight will be smooth.

There will be more updates as the month wears on, I promise but right now I dont have internet at home and the work computer is rather slow

Music has always been an important part of my life.  Most popular songs dont really speak to me but just recently, I have been getting hit over the soul with songs that have come from my favourite medium: Podcasts.  Brenda Dayne of Cast On has given me Exactly by Amy Steinberg (You can listen by clicking “listen”…duh)

Exactly:

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am a blessing manifest
i can undress the moment
naked time unwinds beneath my mind
and from within i find the kind of beauty
only i can find
i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am surrendering so willingly
to be the perfect me inside this now
and truly how else could it be
destiny she blesses me
when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
when i think i know what’s best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be
i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am divinely timed and shining brightly
yes i believe that there’s a purpose just for me
yes i believe that we are light
and we shine infinitely
i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am not aimlessly existing see
i am in perfect harmony with universal energy
and i am truly free when i accept my own divinity
look at me look at me closely
what exactly do you see
if you are paying attention you will now begin ascension of the mind
why, because if you look at me just right you will see a kiss
for it took a kiss to make this breath exist
the intersection of my mother’s and father’s lips
to touch twist and perfect what came next to produce me
look at me and you will see the breeze
the breeze it took to shake the leaves to make
my mother’s hair move, my father dare touch it and say
please may i have a kiss
yes the breeze made me exist
and if you want to get even deeper into this
when you look at me you will see a cloud
the cloud it took to form the storm to shake the leaves to
inspire the liplock – yes a raindrop will pop up out these words
you heard me right
if you look at me close enough you will see a dark stormy night
and what is night without it’s polar opposite of sunlight
so if you watch the way my hands sway
you’ll see the light of day
and everyday is a testament to the sediment of the earth’s core
it’s ever spinning enormous force so if you look at me just right
you will see a spark of the source
but the most fascinating thing about this, and it’s true
is that if you look at me close enough, you see you
it’s only what you perceive how you believe the space between
you and me
that creates reality
so when i sing you can feel it
when i cry you can heal it
when i speak words you can be the words i speak by singing with me
peace love free
peace love free
peace love free
and when i am alone and full of fear
i just remember the rising sun always appears
everyday miracles that i see
well they take me back to exactly where i need to be

Yes, I know its a long set of lyrics but it is so wonderful and speaking to me.

The other is Ingrid Michaelson with “The Way I Am”

The Way I Am

You would think that there had been enough of this talking.  Before every game there would be about an hour of talking about the players, the teams, the coach, the weather, the fields…ad nauseum.   Today, I woke up and while I was hoping to actually catch some cartoons, I found this insanity instead.  Super Bowl coverage.  8 hours before the game, 6.5 hours before the pre-game.  8 HOURS people!!   Why?  What more is there possibly to be said about each and every player, team, coach, field, WHATEVER that hasnt been said for at least 4 months?  Didnt they just praise the players a week ago in the final play-off game?  Do you really think that there has been any huge changes in the players?   Did someone retire or die or join either of the teams on Saturday that would completely change the make-up of the teams?  Jeez everyone, its not like this hasnt been coming for the entire season and we no zilch about the game or players.

Yes, I will be watching the game…if we have TV.  There is so much snow here that Sisu is chest deep in  it on the back porch!  I DO like football, just not the insanity that preceeds and postceeds it.

Since I have given myself until January 6th, 3 Kings Day, to get my Holiday knitting done for family members that I intended to knit for, I am much more enjoying my knitting time.  Its a comfort to know that in some places it is traditional to give gifts then instead of December 25th.  So I’m not being tardy, just traditional!   I was planning on showing pictures but cant ruin the surprise for anyone…hopefully I can show off all the finished items within a week or so.

My Rogue is coming along well and I am 1/4 of the way into the 2nd sleeve and then I will be all done with the sweater.  I have woven in all the ends along the way and I am very excited to get it all done and blocked.  Hopefully tonight I can set it to soak…in Soak!  I just bought some from the Loopy Ewe in the Aquae scent.  I had bought the sample pack sometime last fall and just loved the Aquae one.  The floral one is to floral-y and the citrus one is too citrus-y for me.  The Aquae one is just right for both boys and girls, not too much of anything to be overpowering.  Even J likes it and everyone who bought a hat liked it too!

It must be December and getting cold everywhere.  Or people are thinking that they want to see the snow and cold from other places!  I had 86 views of my frosted window picture.  Now, I knew that I loved that picture but I had no idea that you all would love it so much too!    It has been so cold here lately that even the sea is freezing.  Grated, only in the inner part of the harbor and on the tidal flats but still.  This is a picture from right out my window

Yesterday we had a very hard frost and I dont think that it could even be called a frost because it started about 4pm on Thursday, lasted all day Friday and is still hanging on this morning! It looks vicious to me but is so tender and fragile.

Wanna see some knitting? These are the hats that I have been working on so hard.  The one with the checkerboard pattern is the most recently done and still needs the fleece liner (the black band you can see).  I took them to SnB on Wednesday to sew in the liners and I think that if I have anything left to sell at the bazaar after 10 minuets, I will be incredibly surprised.  From the response I got from the SnB ladies, I am very sure that they will all sell fast.  BTW, I still have this to do before Saturday…and wash and block and sew in fleece liners…um, yeah.  Any questions as to what I am knitting?  I still have the Rogue and I still love it but between hats, I have no time to knit on something else.

The one break I took from knitting yesterday was to play with my brand-new cookie press (!!!) and make peanut butter balls.  I discovered the joys of a cookie press a few years ago and love the little spritz cookies that I make.  They are perfect with tea and coffee and I really like how small they are.  I can eat one or two and not feel like I over indulged.  The peanut butter balls are a LOT more labour intensive but wow, do they look and taste good!  We used to make them every year at Christmas time in my house and I remember watching Christmas videos and rolling them.  One year, my sister and I were rolling and not really paying attention to the pile on the cookie sheet.  My Mum came into the room and said something like, ‘Is that all you’ve done?’.  We looked at the sheet and saw that barely any were there…but there was a very satisfied Scotty dog sitting behind us licking his chops!  Our dog, Piper, had been sneaking a few each time we put them on the sheet.  He didnt get sick but we were always more careful from then on to put the sheet on the table, not the floor!

This year, no dogs got to sample my peanut butter balls and you can see how sad she looks  And how neglected.  This is from a hike we took last weekend.  J had to hold her collar because she was tearing about like a wild thing.  She loves to hike with us and always stays close and always sleeps hard that night!  Here I am on the same hike…I am nowhere near as, erm, rotund, as I look there.  I’m actually wearing a t-shirt, sweatshirt and a wool sweater UNDER that teal coat.  If anyone knows how to rotate that pic, please let me know because its right side up on my camera and pic programs!

Sadly, I am not the dictator/empress/general all around ruler of an island, rather, I am a hunter(huntress?) and with a bunch of friends, J and I went hunting yesterday.  We “ran the islands” which means that using the skiffs, a bunch of us were dropped off on opposite ends of an island and we would make noise and try to drive off the deer or at least scare them up!!  This normally is a great way to get deer but yesterday it was completely unsuccessful.  We saw lots of sign and prints but no deer…until…J insisted that we (S, C, J and I) go out to Greentop out on the ocean and run a few islands out there.  There were two that he really wanted to run and the 3 of us were agreeable.  There was nothing on the first and we were on the way to the second and I spotted a deer.  We were in the skiff and, of course, no one was ready to shoot.  Because were were on the water, he wasnt scared at all.  I was the only one that saw him for a while but then J saw him too and took a shot.  Somehow, he missed!  The deer dashed behind a tree..sorta.  His head was behind but his butt wasnt!  S blew his deer call and then he could see his antlers (I told them it wasnt a doe(we dont shoot does)!) but couldnt get a clear shot.  J reversed the skiff and then had a clear shot, took it and the buck dropped like a rock.  We, S and I, got up there first and gave thanks to the deer for his life to us and to God for giving us success.  It was a clean shot with no suffering and for that, I am always thankful and its the only way that both J and S will take a shot.   It may seem that we are getting a lot of deer (4, so far) but please keep in mind that we dont buy beef at all and chicken very rarely so this IS our meat.

Because of the hunting, there was very little knitting going on yesterday but I moved like a crazy thing when we got back and have only 6 more rows to go to finish this next hat!  That will make 3 done and 4 more to go before the 8th.  Do you think I can?